The apocalypse of sanity
Jul. 22nd, 2010 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
friezaessI just called Matt begging him to fix things between us and make the pain stop. I sobbed on the phone for an hour. Now I don't think he'll call me as much because I just start crying. I'm going to drop off his stuff over the weekend. I can't begin to explain the agony that swells in my chest when I think of it as the last time I'll drive over to the house that I've driven to several hundred times before. It's my second home.
No... he's my second home. The one thing that keeps me sane and happy through events that would normally trigger my suicidal impulses. Without him... it's just me and the darkness.
When we first got together, I thought that if this attempt at happiness failed, I'd drown myself in the bathtub. It has failed and left me in severe emotional and physical pain, but I just can't pluck up the courage to end my life. Instead, I sit in this purgatory as the gaping void left by his presence destroys my mind.
No... he's my second home. The one thing that keeps me sane and happy through events that would normally trigger my suicidal impulses. Without him... it's just me and the darkness.
When we first got together, I thought that if this attempt at happiness failed, I'd drown myself in the bathtub. It has failed and left me in severe emotional and physical pain, but I just can't pluck up the courage to end my life. Instead, I sit in this purgatory as the gaping void left by his presence destroys my mind.
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Date: 2010-07-23 02:13 am (UTC)Yeah, I really want to stay with him and I know we're perfect together, but the constant anxiety of knowing that we'll either have to break up eventually or come to resent each other would drive us insane. It's weird, because before this I believed that love conquers all. We truly want to be together, but it would only bring us pain...