(no subject)

Today I lost that which I cherish most.

I'm just... numb right now. I've cried to the point where I continue to sob, but no tears will flow. I've played the same song over and over and over because it reminds me of days gone by.

I... just... it's still sinking in...

"Kill me before you leave me..."

It's been around 24 hours since Tom and I broke up.

I haven't eaten, nor have I changed out of my pyjamas, and the only times I've left my room have been to throw up. Yes, I've been rather ill- I wanted to get drunk last night so as to drown my sorrows, and with Jaq's help, drunk is what I got. Unfortunatly I forgot to drink plenty of water before I went to bed, thus a hangover ensured.

Many thanks to those who have been supporting me and offering me hugs. I'm still somewhat in a state of shock and numbness. I want this numbness to last forever, because I know that when it stops I'll be crying even more.

I still look foward to the weekend MoC for the soul purpose of being able to hold you in my arms again, even if it's just a quick "hello" hug. I still want to go back in time. And I still cry. I want to keep saying "I love you", but things are different now, aren't they...

Well, I've successfully made myself start crying again. Good job, Suz. -.-