I demand it.

[friezaess]

You.

Tell me a story.

Comments

[swiftylily.livejournal.com]

HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE.
THE VALLEYS THAT PLAY HOME TO THE INFIDELS SHALL BE BLESSED BY
THE SACRED WHITE RIVER OF MY PELVIC PALADIN. THAT IS NO REASON
TO GIVE ME THE GREEN EYE OF JEALOUSY, MY COCK-LOVING CAVALIER.
BETWEEN US, TONIGHT WILL BE RELIGIOUS RAPTURE, FOR YOUR ANAL
CLEFT SHALL BE MY GREAT SEA, AND I SHALL BE ITS MOSES, CLEAVING
ITS MIGHTY CHOCOLATE OCEAN TO MAKE WAY FOR THE SAFE PASSAGE OF
MY TESTICULAR TRIBE, HAVING BEEN GRANTED MEPHITIC FREEDOM FROM
THE TYRANNY OF ENSLAVEMENT BEHIND A LOCKED PROSTATE. TO DO THIS,
I WILL READY MY LONGIUS TO PIERCE YOUR BACKSIDE’S SACRED DOMAIN
— YOU WILL SCREAM FIRST IN PAIN, THEN IN PASSION AS ITS STEEL-
LADEN GIRTH STRETCHES AND RIPS THE FABRIC OF YOUR MORTAL INNARDS,
DISIMBUING YOU OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, LEADING YOU TO A HEAVEN,
THEN REVIVING YOUR FEELING OF PHYSICAL REALITY LIKE A ONCE-
CRUCIFIED JESUS RETURNING TO EARTH. I GUARANTEE IT.

[friezaess.livejournal.com]

I actually lol'd.

This copypasta is delicious.

[damasquerade.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I loled too.

[swiftylily.livejournal.com]

or, for something more simpler:

ENTER hut
ASPLODE teapot
DISROBE Harry
DISROBE Hagrid
MESSY MESSY BUTTSEX Harry AND Hagrid
ASSBABY Harry