Easily Distracted

Today I commenced my two weeks work experience at Quest Newspapers and HOLY FUCK I WAS SHIT SCARED. Gah, my hands were shaking so much I spilled my cofffe D: However, the editor I was working under was SO nice and he let me write three articles that are going to be in Thursday's City North News. I am insanely critical of myself, so it means so much when there's a professional around to offer moral support and encourage one's work instead of giving the usual speel about how journalism is dead. (I'm realistic about job prospects in the field, but most of the lecturers at UQ make it feel like it's not worth even attempting :/) So yeah, still nervous but looking forward to going back tomorrow :3

Grr, so fucking jealous of the artists in there who get to play in Photoshop all day. I'd be so happy if I could find a job that would just let me sit and abuse various Adobe programmes like a priest does a small child.

Choice quotes from my essay in which we were asked to invent a new type of technology to bring news to audiences:

*(in response to the question "How is the technology new?") The technology is new in that it is a chip that is inserted into people’s brains that exploits their consciousness. Some may find this ethically dubious, but as journalism has little to do with ethics, content producers can make lots of money by tailoring news to different people’s tastes, like having news services that have a biased slant specifically targeted at, say, white supremacists, similar to 2009’s Today Tonight.

*Making people happy is very profitable, and this can be achieved by putting your company’s data into their brains.

*Now instead of having to wait a few hours to illegally download Michael Moore’s latest documentary, owners of a microchip can have it appear in their minds instantaneously and be filled with facts from the far left that could lead to the spread of such traits as vegetarianism.

*Regarding social factors, numerous studies have been done which link high Internet use with isolation, including a survey done in the US which concluded that “[Our] results show that high Internet use is related to weaker social ties: low Internet users reported significantly better relationships with their mothers and friends than did high Internet users.” (Sanders, pg. 1) This means that those who involve themselves deeply in technology could cease to function as social creatures, preferring to retreat into their mind’s eye to watch the news or procreate with animated women, which could lead to such occurences as a drop in birth rates and increase in suicides. This could be an effective way of counteracting overpopulation problems of the future. Also, as part of a cycle, people would be more likely to turn to the entertainment provided by the microchip in order to distract themselves from how desperately lonely they are. This would increase the profits of companies who advertise dating agencies.

*The ethical problems are easily reconciled by the vast amount of profits received by news producers which therefore allows them to make more content, thus affecting communities in the same positive way that 24 hour news networks have.

Seriously, fuck that shit.

On a semi-related note, the subject I was going to undertake over the summer semester has been canceled D: D: D: THIS MEANS I HAVE TO TAKE 5 SUBJECTS NEXT SEMESTER FSADFJADJFAJA 'Cos seriously, it's either that or graduate at the ripe old age of 26 :( Ugh. I'd better make sure to get all my socialising and happiness out of the way over the summer break so I can buckle down for 6 months. So irate >_>

Everyone has one of THOSE subjects which are completly useless yet compulsory. What's your's?

I have several, and for one of them, my final essay is to "project yourself into a future community and devise a news delivery technology that works and helps you make money by engaging audiences". ... Wut.

Anyways, it's around 2000 words and this how I respond to douchery with douchery.

( Mind Control to Major Murdoch )

For once, my collection of books on conspiracy theories might come in handy for something other than crafting my own tin foil hat.

I keep getting the urge to sell all of my dresses except Princess Drop, the Meta cameo one and my new Marble (lol) halterneck. The high turnover rate of other people's wardrobes have always used to baffle me, but yeah, kind of sick of wearing the same old stuff all the time.

*sigh* I wish I had enough money to drop on stuff in Myer and the like so I could fit in a bit better at uni :/ Journalism students are so fickle, especially the females. Blah. So tired of being surrounded by people fresh out of high school who think they know everything about everything and have a habit of flaunting their ignorance. It irks me even more that they probably have a better chance of landing a job than me because they're social butterflies. Blah.

Going to the movies with Louise tonight, hopefully it won't suck. I'm thinking we should hit up Birdee Num Nums because that's where all the cool kids go, amirite? Dammit I wish I had enough money for West End cocktails ;_;



I daaaaaaaaaaaaaw'd.

(Also, are we now allowed to use all our left over tsunami jokes from 2004? Samoa has more water under its bridges than US/Russia relations! Wait, that sucks... make your own damn comments, I'm going back to laughing at boobies on /b/.)

I am in such a bad mood I'm not sure what to do :/

1. eBay buyer is filing a claim that an item he received from me is not as described. I have no idea where this is coming from and now my PayPal account is in the negative. Good thing I paid for Vampire Requiem before he launched the case >_>

2. A source I want to interview is missing in action and their PR is giving me the run around. This is the life I chose -_-;

3. Me: Hey Dad, I'm having some problems with-
Dad: This is damn good lemon, lime and bitters, don't you think?
Me: Um... I'm really upset and-
Dad: *walks off*
Me: ;_;

4. Have finished maybe 10% of an essay due in less than 48 hours, but I'm too damn tired to form coherent sentences.

5. I gave like 3 people cash and now I don't think I'll be able to afford petrol this week.

*sigh* At least there'll be a new Daily Show uploaded in a couple of hours.

Oh shit, I think I fucked up in a sort of hillarious way.

I'm doing a 3rd year Communication course and I'm only at the start of my 2nd year. The funny part? I'm really fucking good at it and find myself nodding my head when the rest of the class doesn't seem to know what the hell the tutor's on about. She actually picked me out from the lecture and praised me for a question I asked about ethical journalism (in b4 oxymoron). Much of what we've been taught is about topics I think about for hours on end. Considering how much I fail @ life thanks to a losing combination of laziness and pure, unadulterated stupidity, I find it funny that I'm doing so well in a subject that I'm only doing because I was too dumb to read the website properly.

I guess I should e-mail someone from the Jour/Comm School, though I'm really tempted to just go with it. After all, I'll have to complete it some time, right? I'm not sure how I managed to fuck up so bad, especially now that the only tutes available will probably be at 8am on a day where I have no other classes.

ETA: No more happy fun Communication course, ever... I had to drop it and it doesn't work in with the rest of my degree ;_;

I really felt like a vodka, lime and soda until I realised that it 's 9:36am. Oops. I'm so used to waking up at 4pm.

Yesterday I decided to play reporter and interview people at Stafford City (don't laugh, I'm going somewhere with this). While my social phobia is certainly a hinderance in my chosen vocation, at least I fear all people equally- talking to a government advisory body is no more terrifying than talking to a man in the street. In this case, I was grabbing voxpops about ye olde Internet filter to pad out my radio show (something which means I'll still be going into Uni even though it's holidays -_-). As 100% of people under 30 think it's a bad idea, I went to somewhere so anti-youth that I visibly aged 20 years just by being there in order to get opposing points of view. Of the few people who a) knew what the internet was and more importantly  b) were willing to have a microphone shoved in their face (I feel so rude doing that ._.), I could only find one person who was in favour of it and by the end of the conversation he'd changed his mind. Heh.

Lemon, lime and bitters would be nice right now.

Aside from that, I really need to work on my reporter voice :/ My final project for Journalism involved video/audio/picture stories and I sounded a little too perky about Typhoid. Dammit, I want my marks back for Communication and Creative Writing already! I know I just handed the assignments in like three days ago but ARGH! Suspsense ;_; For those interested, I'll upload my Film and TV piece to YouTube over the weekend once the damn thing callibrates properly. I'm sure the makers of Saw would love our use of strawberry syrup <3

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Stephen Strong: Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 2
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Stephen Colbert in Iraq

WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE ON DURING ASSIGNMENT WEEK?!!! I almost cried laughing in the first minute or so of that clip.

Also, about the Tracey Grimshaw incident. While I've not bothered watching the clip, I have seen the headlines on Fark- "Aussie Journo Gets Attacked by Ramsay - PM Demands Apology". FUCK YES. If there's one group of people that never, ever get insulted on a daily basis by the general public it's journalists! Lord knows ol' K. Diddy has never in his life said anything bad about newsmen and their ilk. Even Grimshaw, who's more of a "journalist", should never have to be subjected to such offensive behaviour. Can you imagine a world without the sort of investigative reporting she brings us every weeknight?

I got my reporting assignment back.

I passed.

Oh how I wish that meant I could relax now -_-; I hate this time of year.

Noticing that you're the only first year student doing a radio show and are a total n00b: :(
Striking up a conversation with some of the experienced sound students: :|
Being the only one who can get the audio software working: :)
Realising that the title you chose for your show is 2 letters away from being "Necrophilia": :D :D :D

(For those wondering, it's called Neophilia and is going to eat up time I should be spending on assignments. w00t.)

I find it so hillarious that in Communication we are taught how public relations is an imperative part of meaning making in society, only to toddle off to a Journalism lecture to hear about how people who work in that industry are the scum of the Earth.