Job search

So I applied for a job at the resident pr0n shop. I've actually been in there before for shits n' giggles- some of their hook-shaped anal beads confused me, but the glittery nipple caps were kinda pretty. Also, they had those awesome boots with spiked heels that go all the way up to your thigh. Damn I wish I could wear stilettos.

Anyway, they sent me back a questionnaire to fill in. It was the usual stuff- "What times are you available?", "Do you have your own transport?", "Are you prepared to work weekends?" However, there was one question that threw me for a loop: "Which of our products interests you and why?" ... How do I respond to that?

Well I must say, in all my travels across the shopping centres of the world, I have never encountered a product with the same quality and durability as your 20" Studded Rubber Horse Cock. I remember when I first encountered the 20" Studded Rubber Horse Cock back in 1972 upon my return from South-East Asia. I was driving down the road in my rusty old Dodge when the rear tyre blew. The loud pop echoed in my ears like the sound of my best friend's head after being pumped full of hot lead by Charlie. Instinctively, I screeched to a halt and tried to crouch under the steering wheel. That's when an old hitch hiker toddled up to my car and stuck his head in the window.

"Hey man, are you okay?" He asked as the stench of sweat and weed filled the cabin. I looked up at him, sniveling like an eight year old. He smiled a gummy smile, the few remaining teeth he had encrusted filth. "Here... take this." Something heavy fell into my lap and I looked down. It was a 20" Studded Rubber Horse Cock. I used it to prop up the car as I changed the tyre, then removed it to knock the nuts on nice and tight. In fact, I still drive on that same tyre to this day. Since then, I've taken your sturdy 20" Studded Rubber Horse Cock everywhere I go- it's helped me turn the TV off from 20" away, smack would-be robbers in the head and provides a comfortable place to sit when all the chairs are taken on the bus. The 20" Studded Rubber Horse Cock is also great for Christmas cooking- my kids just love using it to roll out our cookie dough, and the studs make great patterns! Safe to day, the 20" Studded Rubber Horse Cock changed my life and I never leave the house without it.

I also think your massage oil is great to throw into the eyes of passers-by before I sodomise them.

They do have pretty cool horse cocks.

I'm not quite sure what to feel here.

Oh shit, I think I fucked up in a sort of hillarious way.

I'm doing a 3rd year Communication course and I'm only at the start of my 2nd year. The funny part? I'm really fucking good at it and find myself nodding my head when the rest of the class doesn't seem to know what the hell the tutor's on about. She actually picked me out from the lecture and praised me for a question I asked about ethical journalism (in b4 oxymoron). Much of what we've been taught is about topics I think about for hours on end. Considering how much I fail @ life thanks to a losing combination of laziness and pure, unadulterated stupidity, I find it funny that I'm doing so well in a subject that I'm only doing because I was too dumb to read the website properly.

I guess I should e-mail someone from the Jour/Comm School, though I'm really tempted to just go with it. After all, I'll have to complete it some time, right? I'm not sure how I managed to fuck up so bad, especially now that the only tutes available will probably be at 8am on a day where I have no other classes.

ETA: No more happy fun Communication course, ever... I had to drop it and it doesn't work in with the rest of my degree ;_;