Mar. 11th, 2005

friezaess: (Default)
Ugh. You have no idea how frustrated with myself right now.

What do you do when your passion, your reason for being, your lifeblood, ceases to exist? It's happened to me; I've lost the will to draw. Not only have I lost it, anything I try to draw looks positivley shocking. It's like I've suddenly slipped back to the level I was at in highschool. Just a few months ago I was looking foward to a career as an artist, getting outt here, having my stuff seen, improving week by week... now nothing I draw looks good, even if I'm inspired. It's like I've stopped breathing.

For so many years drawing has been a constant in my life. A second nature. Even when I was feeling lonely and dejected, I felt a sense of love when I was drawing. Now it's as if someone's whacked both my hands and my head with a brick. I'm pissed off. And stuck for ideas. And forgot to bring my 'how to draw' books down. *sigh* I've been in this slump since Animania (as if I didn't have enough bad memories of that event). Soon after I got down there, I was having a lot of trouble drawing. I thought I was over that rough patch, but apparently it's gotten even worse.

It's weird. And infuriating. And I'm hoping that if I rest for a while, I'll be able to come back better than ever... but if I'm in a slump now, who's to say I'll be over it in a month? Or a year? Or a lifetime? Yeah, I know I'm sounding so melodramatic about this. But drawing's like, my life. I can't even begin to imagine living without it.

November 2012

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