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The tourist reporter
I've been looking through job listings on the ABC and such, and have found that, as expected, quite a few of them would require relocating. Now, I've been itching to travel for quite some time and God knows that Brisbane is an inspiration wasteland, so let's have a look at some of the exotic locations I could be stationed at when I graduate this year!
KALGOORLIE, W.A.
With an average of 6.2 rapes per capita, Kalgoorlie is Australia's most friendly country town. Thanks to the mining boom there are a plethora of employment opportunities such as digging for rocks, smashing rocks, burning rocks and smashing small rocks against bigger rocks to make tiny rocks. Popular pass times include getting your rocks off, rocking out and getting stoned. However, if mines aren't your thing you can also have fun at any number of pits, quarries and dug-outs.
LAUNCESTON, TAS
Tasmania is known for such technological marvels as the Internet filter trials and bong innovation. From a comparative point of view, Launceston is Tasmania's clitoris and as such there's a certain pungent smell about it, particularly given that it's surrounded by seafood. Locals take pride in being able to claim that they're from the "ninth-biggest non-capital city in Australia" and will tell you about how fast the city is evolving, going from 4 railway lines in the 1800's to none.
MOUNT ISA, QLD
Named after a local Saturday night passtime, Mount Isa is at the heart of Queensland's fertile loins and produces silver, ore, and sodomy. Baby-eating dingoes patrol the streets to help curb population growth, though the growing amount of miners moving there means the city has had to employ a massive 35-strong taxi fleet. Visitors are invited to join the locals in going for a traditional kangaroo or aboriginee hunt, however if you feel like joining in the arts scene, Donno the tradie will be only too happy to teach you how to draw in the dust using the traditional method of urine splattering. And who knows, maybe you'll be one of the many people who find love at the local women's shelter!
So many places to travel, they all make Gundawindi look bland in comparison! (Though that's on the cards too.) With so many options, how can I lose?
KALGOORLIE, W.A.
With an average of 6.2 rapes per capita, Kalgoorlie is Australia's most friendly country town. Thanks to the mining boom there are a plethora of employment opportunities such as digging for rocks, smashing rocks, burning rocks and smashing small rocks against bigger rocks to make tiny rocks. Popular pass times include getting your rocks off, rocking out and getting stoned. However, if mines aren't your thing you can also have fun at any number of pits, quarries and dug-outs.
LAUNCESTON, TAS
Tasmania is known for such technological marvels as the Internet filter trials and bong innovation. From a comparative point of view, Launceston is Tasmania's clitoris and as such there's a certain pungent smell about it, particularly given that it's surrounded by seafood. Locals take pride in being able to claim that they're from the "ninth-biggest non-capital city in Australia" and will tell you about how fast the city is evolving, going from 4 railway lines in the 1800's to none.
MOUNT ISA, QLD
Named after a local Saturday night passtime, Mount Isa is at the heart of Queensland's fertile loins and produces silver, ore, and sodomy. Baby-eating dingoes patrol the streets to help curb population growth, though the growing amount of miners moving there means the city has had to employ a massive 35-strong taxi fleet. Visitors are invited to join the locals in going for a traditional kangaroo or aboriginee hunt, however if you feel like joining in the arts scene, Donno the tradie will be only too happy to teach you how to draw in the dust using the traditional method of urine splattering. And who knows, maybe you'll be one of the many people who find love at the local women's shelter!
So many places to travel, they all make Gundawindi look bland in comparison! (Though that's on the cards too.) With so many options, how can I lose?
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PS - Callan is from a tiny town near Launceston. And I thought *I* was a hick!
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my housemate is from launceston and he couldn't get out fast enough. it's a really country town - nothing changes and you're always getting on the boat to melbourne to have fun.
but do what you want, dear :D
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I'd take Tasmania. It's an island, thus you can say "Hey, I work on an island!"
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